Explaining why her marriage failed, Nollywood actress, Chike Ike, in an open letter to her fans, opened up on the physical abuse she suffered in the hands of the man she called her husband for five years. Below is the letter...
'' The past three years has been a very emotional period for me. I
focused my energy on work and to build back my self esteem. its been
really hard for me to come out straight and talk about this because
sometimes I pinch myself to wake up and not believe that I was a victim
of domestic violence. I've been through a lot in my life, faced a lot of
challenges but this is one topic I've tried so hard to avoid and have
been waiting for the right time but I have come to a resolve that
there's really no right time because every second of the day,lives are
being lost due to domestic violence. I was a victiim of domestic
violence in my marriage and that was the singular reason I left my
marriage, aside other reasons.
Growing up as a girl. I was always
known as the sweetest kid on the block, before I got married, I have
been through some relationships and for once no man had ever laid a
finger on me. The first time it happened in my marriage I didn't
understand it because I am not the type of woman a man beats but I guess
there are no types. It just happens and no woman deserves it. As a
young girl I thought it was love or his way of expressing his
emotions,after every beating he pleads , cries and says it won't happen
again, once again I thought it was love and made excuses for him. Over
the years when it kept happening consistently I started looking for
other definitions for it. I started loosing my self pride,self esteem ,
self worth, and most painfully i lost a pregnancy (Miscarriage) I almost
lost my life in the process then I realised how serious and abnormal it
really was.
I have heard and read a lot of accusations
from ignorant people who don't know my story,I guess that's why they are
ignorant. I was 20yrs old and very naïve to the world when I got
married .“ They said I married for money“ LOL. I was married to a
corporate guy,who had a 9_5 job in a bank, Lives in a rented 2 bedroom
apartment at Egbe.. So do the maths! . I married for love. I did a
traditional wedding. A white wedding and a court wedding. So that's how
much I wanted to be married forever. For five years I hoped, prayed
& wished that one day it will all change. But the last straw that
broke the carmels back was during a heated argument he threw a glass jug
to my face and I dogged it and it shattered on d wall. I saw death
flash before me and I made a decision to save my life. I left my
marriage.
Am not saying this to draw pity from anyone because we
are entitled to our opinions and believes. I am not also saying this to
discourage people from falling in love because its a beautiful feeling
and I still believe in it. I am saying this to educate, share and talk
about my experience as a victim of domestic violence because it is
real.''
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