Lady Diane, popularly known as Lady D, left the United States of America with his husband, Charly Boy 35 years ago to settle down with him in Nigeria against all odds. The couple has gone through a lot of challenges since they got married, but they have never looked back on their love journey. Indeed, one could not really understand the extent of their love until one listens to the story of their lives. In this interview with Segun Adebayo, the couple shared the story of their almost four-decade marriage.
Your husband, Charly Boy, clocked 63 years-old on Wednesday, how did you celebrate the day with him?
It was indeed a beautiful day in our lives. Everybody got along. Virtually all the people that matter in his life sent him special birthday wishes to make the day a remarkable one for him. CB has been in our lives for many seasons and I have chosen to lay my heart out for that reason. This is for the best husband, father and son that I know.
He had celebrated many birthdays before now, but this one came with some special moments. What would you say is responsible for this?
Lady D: CB is dedicated to his family and he works hard for us. That is why our love has continued to grow by the day. It is not because he celebrated his birthday, but he has always been a wonderful husband and father. Our love shall never end, even when it goes through the fire, because he alone is my true desire. He’s my soul mate, lover and best friend.
What particular memory do you love to remember most about your union?
Lady D: How can you single out one moment out of countless ones? We have had several wonderful memories together and I pray it continues like this.
How does it feel marrying to a man that is regarded as a weird person for almost four decades?
Lady D: A lot has been said and written about my husband, but the truth is that no one can know Charles the way I know him. Surprisingly, what people think they know is Charly Boy, even at that, there is a difference between the two. Charly Boy is an Image contrived to shock conservative Nigerians out of their analog way of thinking. Charles is my husband. He’s a gentle man, who puts his family first before anything. He is soft and easy. He respects our union and the children. In fact, I’m lucky because most Americans who were married to Nigerians had left their husbands and gone back home. I had seen and heard terrible stories of very bad things happening to good people, so I must say that I’m very lucky. I do tell those who usually ask the question, Charles is the kind of man every woman would love to have as a husband.
Is it true that you proposed to him?
Lady D: Yes. I was the first to propose to Charles, because he was just comfortable with us being friends.
What prompted your decision?
He was scared of marriage because he had experienced three failed marriages. During my first visit to Nigeria, I met with his wonderful family and it was clear to me where his confidence, grooming, and wonderful manners were coming from. I noticed that his family had been a very spiritual one, with high sense of morality and strong family values. There was no way some of that wouldn’t have robbed off Charles, I just fell deeper in love with him, knowing where he was coming from.
After all these years, don’t you get tired or bored; does he still look at you the way he did 36 years ago?
Lady D: Don’t mind my husband, he is an unrepentant romantic, even though he will always hide that part of himself from the public, but that’s what he is. He knows that I love romance.
Being married for almost four decades can be a drag, if you don’t work on it. That is why we always try to keep it as youthful and fresh as we can, it’s not easy but we are determined.
Being fulfilled in one’s marriage is guaranteed when your spouse is supportive, understanding and sensitive to your feelings.
Could you tell us how the romantic journey started?
Lady D: Our love story started in the late 70s in Boston in the United States of America. He came to fix his hair at the salon where I used to work. After he left, he called my boss and asked to speak with me. He invited me to a party the following day with a promise to pick me up from my work place. I noticed that he was so soft spoken and didn’t even have an accent at all.
He didn’t sound like someone from Africa.
Before you met him at your salon, did you date anybody from Nigeria or Africa?
Lady D: I never dated anyone from Africa before Charles. Well, he showed up the next day but guess what? There was no party to attend. It was a lie. He just wanted some time alone with me. We ended up driving all the way to the next State and back. That was the party.
CB cuts in... You are not telling the story well jooor, see, I arrived at her work place in style ooooo, as a prince that I am, in my Rolls-Royce Limo with my Chinese driver. My driver went into the salon to usher her into the car, come and see her office people that day. Everyone came out to see the prince from Africa, who had come to pick his princess. It was a spectacle.
What did you discuss in the car and what was her reaction?CB: In the car, we talked about everything, especially Africa and Nigeria; you know how the Americans are very ignorant about the rest of the world. She wanted to know so much about my family, Africa, and Nigeria. Yes, we talked; no hanky-panky oooo, so let your brain not wonder too much. At the end of that journey I could tell that she was overwhelmed.
Were you not scared while in the car with somebody you knew close to nothing about?
Lady D: Charles has always been a gentleman to the core, very smooth and easy. In fact, that was the main reason I wanted to see him again, it wasn’t because of his car or his oyinbo driver. His dressing was spot on; you could tell that he was well groomed. We just talked, drank and played video games at the back of his limo. You know Charles is such a big show off and a teddy bear you just can’t help liking him, he was easy.
Your wife is not a Nigerian, but you have been married for 35 years…
CB: My wife is more Nigerian than you, if you care to know. We have lived here for over 30 years. Tell me, what’s left? She has totally lost her American accent, she was ordained by God to marry me. She is my angel in every sense of the word. Above all, she is my very best friend.
After three failed marriages, what made you think another one would work, especially to a foreigner?
CB: I was never thinking of marriage when it started. I had thought at the time that marriage was not for me, because I had experienced three failed marriages. She woke up one day, looked into my eyes and said, marry me or I leave you today not tomorrow. I admired her guts and I had a sneaky feeling that she may be different from the people I had married before, and as luck would have it, I was right.
Things were not rosy then as they are now, how were you able to convince her to stay in the midst of the challenges?
CB: I remember way back, when we used to live in the village, I had just returned from America and we started this Charly boy thing. My brother, hunger nearly ruined my life. A job was arranged for me by my parents at Mobil, but I turned it down. Diane was with me in the village, hanging with me with my broke ass. I experienced poverty by choice because I wanted to carve my own part. I was bloody tired of living under anyone’s shadow. Things were really bad for us then, but through our dark days, Diane always wore a smile. She was always happy even when sometimes we didn’t know how the next meal was to come; yes it was that bad.
Ma, tell us, how did you handle that situation then, considering the fact that you had come from a country where you had everything at your beck and call?
Lady D: It was not easy, but I knew things could be better later. I came to Nigeria with him because I love his person, and I decided that if it was a hut he lives in, I will live there with him.
Well, I had to get used to the no- Nepa thing in the village that time. We couldn’t even afford a generator, but I was happy with who I was with, so I didn’t really feel all of that discomfort. I loved the people. I had someone who was teaching me the language. I also enjoyed the food. We didn’t have money, but we had each other.
Your love for CB has continued to grow since then…
Lady D: We are two determined persons who have vowed that our marriage would be different. We talk a lot in our marriage. We came into this marriage as best friends and I’m glad that hasn’t changed. Charles is the first to say I’m sorry when he goofs and he is very sensitive to my feelings. I guess it’s just our determination to stay married. His father and mother have been married for 65 years; my parents have equally lived together for over 58 years. So, why should our own be different? And if people know Charles like I know him, they will know why our relationship is easy.
But people believe that love tends to fade by every passing day, but yours does not appear in that light...
The fact is that we try as much as possible to keep our marriage fresh and exciting. It’s easy for each of us to know what the other person is thinking. We have mutual respect for each other, we listen to one another andwe don’t allow any interference in our marriage. Whatever the issue is, we settle it at night in our room; we are always looking for new ways to keep the fire burning. It is not a one way street. Charles is romantic and very passionate.
Not many women blend well with children from other women in a marriage, what did you do to scale that hurdle of the other kids you inherited?
Lady D: When Charles and I were dating, he was full of stories about his kids, even as a girlfriend, I met some of them. As far back as then, I got along with them. Charles had about six children before we married.
So, it was never a problem at any time?
Lady D: It wasn’t really a problem, because I knew about them and he was always talking about them. Initially, it wasn’t easy, but the children are so wonderful, they made it easy for me.
Now, I’m the proud mother of nine children (laughs).
Source: Nigerian Tribune
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