Dear BMB readers. I have an abusive husband and I'm tired of my marriage!

I'm 29yrs and my husband and I have been married for 10 years, we have three boys together, 2, 5 and 9. Our marriage has been bad for a few years now. I have done everything I know to try to improve it, but nothing helps. My husband is very critical and abusive. We rarely talk unless we are forced to make a decision mostly about the kids. And that's scary because we disagree on everything and it ends up as a fight. If I do attempt to have a conversation about some general subject, he wants to know, "What's your point?" So I avoid conversation if at all possible. Every little thing is an ordeal. I have tried negotiation, but without cooperation I am unable to succeed. He has absolutely no respect for me and when he gets angry he mocks me, yells or gives me ultimatums. It's just not worth it. Our sex life became terrible after our 2nd boy. During our first year of marriage he told me that I wasn't worth sleeping with and over the years has been very insulting to me about sex. I have read books to try to improve my physical attraction but he won't talk to me about it. He just says to use my imagination. I believe that is his way of keeping me guessing and feeling inadequate. When we make love I feel angry or depressed, but I do it as a way of grasping for any kind of intimacy I can get. I work very hard to look nice for him, and others tell me I am very attractive. But he uses very insulting words to describe my appearance. He hit me several times in our marriage in front of the kids and goes only as far as he thinks he can to intimidate me. This to a great extent has given me a low self esteem because he treats me like crap. He has tons of girlfriends, barely comes home often and even when he does he acts like a scarecrow when he is around. No matter how much I could take, my children don't need to be living in that situation. He use to be loving and charming when we were still dating, as a matter of fact he was my first but all of a sudden he changed into what I would describe as an animal. He takes good care of the children's welfare but barely shows me love, I just feel like someone who just has kids for him and nothing more. I think he has a lot of insecurities and tries to make himself feel superior by making me feel worthless. I learned to deal with some of this in counseling, but how long can someone be expected to hold up in a marriage with someone like that? I've told him I am willing to do anything if we could only try to make our marriage pleasant. At times he will agree, but he never follows through. I have given up my dreams of a good marriage one by one until I have very little hope left. I am starting to get depressed and depression only makes things worse. I feel so trapped. I do not believe in divorce, and even if I did, I would still have to deal with him about the children. It would be trading one set of problems for another. I am reluctant to return to my parents, I feel they are getting frustrated about the whole situation anyway. People have advised me to divorce my husband, and I keep wanting to figure out a way to save my marriage because I don't have what it takes to keep it up alone anymore. It seems to be a dead end situation. I grew up believing that marriage was a very special relationship between a man and a woman and I looked forward to it, but I don't think I will ever be able to have that experience. Please advise me people! I think I'm going to have a mental breakdown soon.

Photo: Annie Idibia shows off baby bump in sexy black dress

Isn't she cute? 2baba must be doing a great job. Lol!

"How I escaped death in Kenya mall attack" – Wole Soyinka

But for providence, Nigeria's Nobel Laureate, Professor Wole Soyinka, would have been among the dead in the terror attack that took place at the Nairobi Westgate mall in Kenya last weekend. Speaking at a press conference at the Freedom Park in Victoria Island, Lagos, on Friday in honour of the late Ghanaian poet, Professor Kofi Awoonor who died in the attack, Soyinka led a group of Nigerian writers to condemn the Nairobi massacre. “Those who organised and carried out the outrage on innocent lives in Nairobi are carriers of the most lethal virus of corruption imaginable – corruption of the soul, corruption of the spirit, corruption of that animating humanistic essence that separates us from predatory beasts."

"I caught my best friend and my fiancee in bed. What do I do?"

Dear BMB readers, Two years ago, I was seriously ill, the doctor diagnosed a kidney problem, and there was need for a kidney transplant. My best friend donated one of his kidney, my fiancee sold all her jewellery and her car, in order to raise 1million Naira for the operation. I underwent the surgery and was back on my feet again, a healthy man. Two weeks ago I went to visit my friend at his house...only to find him and my fiancee in bed...ever since then, I've been rattled...so please tell me, what do I do to these two people who have spared nothing to see that I'm alive today?

Governor Fashola renders apologies to the Igbos over destitute deportation

Lagos State Governor Babatunde Fashola yesterday Thursday Sept. 26th apologized to the Igbos over the deportation of destitute from the state to Anambra State a few months back. Governor Fashola tendered his apology at a ceremony to mark the Silver Jubilee anniversary of Aka Ikenga, an Igbo social-cultural group in Lagos. He said: “The truth is that I do not have a problem with the Igbos, they know that because the largest herd of cattle I received during my father’s burial came from the Ndigbo. Those people who came under their many colours are not people I have a problem with, they are my kindred and my people. Also, there were people who did not clearly understand me and they have misunderstood words said or misrepresented actions taken in the way that it has pleased them to do so. To those people, I owe an explanation, not a defence of what has happened and that is partly why I am here. “We have built a relationship based on tolerance, mutual respect, trust and love. That relationship was started by our ancestors, it was handed over to us and we have nourished it with a lot of trust, with a lot of understanding and with a lot of fidelity. “Those who misunderstand that relationship, think that there is no value in that relationship, I have come here to correct that because I place a lot of value on that relationship. If those people have misunderstood me or they have misunderstood actions taken by our government, here, now and today, I offer an unqualified and unreserved apology." “Why should people feel compelled to migrate from one place to the other? Is there one part of this country that is less endowed whether in human or natural resource? Is that the problem? Is it the case that perhaps some parts are so endowed or not adequately managed?" “Those are the honest debates that we must have. The political storm is gathering and allusions have been made to the issues I address, not only by the chairman, but by the President of Ohaneze Ndigbo. How can development be so difficult in the part of Nigeria that gave us Ike Nwachukwu, Chinua Achebe, Nnamdi Azikiwe, Odumegwu Ojukwu, Alex Ekwueme and so on, how can development be so difficult in that part of this country? I think those are the real issues.” “I think we have been in the news of our relationship for the wrong reasons in the last few weeks, but if you listen to the voices of those who speak the loudest, you would see that they do not speak about us, they do not speak about the problems, but about themselves. The majority of us are concerned about how to make it better, that is what concerns us always in Lagos, and it is not an easy decision for me.” "The pursuit of making it better makes us adopt policies which are always subject to the human text of fallibility”.

N240m For Kano Mass Wedding.

The Kano State Government has approved N240 million for its mass wedding for divorcees and widows. The Commissioner for Information, Prof Umar Farouk Jibril, addressed reporters yesterday in Kano on the development after a meeting of the State Executive Council (Exco) meeting. He said Governor Musa Kwankwaso decided to sponsor the mass wedding to reduce the burden of the widows and divorcees and assist them to settle down. The commissioner said the council also approved N47 million for the procurement of utility vehicles for the State Primary Healthcare Board and N222 million for the training of 1,000 global system of mobile communication (GSM) dealers in the 44 local government areas of the State. Prof Jibril said the council also approved N22 million for the state handball team to participate in the African Club Championship in Monrovia, Liberia. The government also said it spent N14 million on the rehabilitation of 22 dilapidated women’s cottage industries. The Commissioner for Women Affairs and Social Development, Dr Binta Jibrin, addressed reporters yesterday in Kano after a workshop for 4,400 married women on marriage orientation in Kiru Local Government. She said the Musa Kwankwaso administration was determined to ensure a firm economic empowerment of Kano women. The workshop was organised by the ministry in collaboration with the State Hisba Board, A1—family Forum/Nana Asma’u Women Centre. It was meant to eradicate the high rate of divorce and broken homes in the state. - Hope for Nigeria

Oprah Winfrey says she'll leave this earth as a 'never married' woman

Billionaire talk show legend and actress Oprah Winfrey 59, has been dating Stedman Graham, 62, since 1986. That's 27 years - longer than a lot of marriages. Oprah said in an interview recently that although she considered marriage after she attended Tina Turner's wedding in Switzerland in July, she's pretty sure she will leave the world as a woman who 'never got married' When asked if she would leave earth as a “never-married” woman, Oprah made her feelings very clear. “Yes,” she told Access Hollywood. “Yeah, I think that’s my final answer.” “I think that it’s interesting that you would ask it because I thought about it again at Tina Turner’s wedding. Because Tina was like, ‘Oprah, you need to do this. You need to do it.’ I was just thinking, ‘Well, OK, would things really be different?’ And no, I don’t think so. If you ever interviewed him (Stedman), he would tell you that had we married, we would not be together today, because he’s a traditional man and this is a very untraditional relationship.” Oprah also explained that she couldn’t be a wife because the word holds responsibilities she doesn’t feel capable of handling.

8,000 women in Zamfara protest over scarcity of husbands

No fewer than 8,000 women on Thursday matched to the Zamfara Hisbah Commission, seeking the state government’s assistance to enable them to get married. Led by the Chairperson of the Zamfara Widows Association, Hajiya Suwaiba Isa, and the patron, Alhaji Sa’idu Goshe, the women said they were not living a normal life and needed husbands to become whole.
 “Many of us cannot afford two meals in a day because there are no men to support us,” they said. The patron said the association had over 8,000 women, comprising 5,380 divorcees, 2,200 widows, 1,200 orphans and 80 others, whom he said, were looking for men to marry. He said the women also needed assistance to purchase household items such as beds, mattresses and other basic necessities needed to move to their husbands’ houses. Goshe appealed to the commission to assist the association in screening suitors for the women. He said the screening would determine the suitors’ health status, source of livelihood and ability to maintain a family.

Nicki Minaj shows off boobs in cropped unbuttoned jacket with no bra

She showed off side boobs in this daring boob-baring top and leather trouser pants as she headed to the Ellen DeGeneres Show on Wednesday to promote her brand new scent, Minajesty. More photos after the cut...

Only son of Tasty Fried Chicken boss Olubunmi Adedayo dies

The only child of Tastee Fried Chicken boss Mrs Olayinka Adedayo, Olubunmi Adedayo is dead. He died yesterday September 24th in the US after a brief illness. Bunmi, who until his death was the executive director of TFC, is survived by his parents, wife and two kids. May his soul rest in peace. Amen.

I'm 18 and I've had sex with only 4 men. Is it too much?

Dear BMB readers,
 I am 18 years old and in my second year in a private university. I started having sex when I turned 16 after leaving secondary school and I have had four sexual partners so far. I dated 2 of the boys while the other 2 were just flings.

Comedian Bovi and wife welcome baby girl

The popular comedian and his wife Christabel welcomed their second child, a baby girl, on Wednesday night at exactly 08:47 hours. Congrats to them!

Boko Haram leader Abubakar Shekau still alive; shames JTF

Leader of the dreaded Boko Haram sect, Abubakar Shekau, who was declared dead by Nigerian military on August 19th 2013 has just appeared in a new video, saying he is alive. In the video, Shekau also claimed full responsibility of the recent attacks that killed several soldiers and civilians in Borno State. “They said I am dead, but here I am. Everybody should be judged according to the dictates of his conscience. What I am doing is written in the Holy Qur’an and the Hadith and I will not stop. I challenge all the clerics of the world to question my deeds."  “Nigerian soldiers are late. After killing many of them in Monguno and Benisheik, we have snatched their armoured carriers and a Hilux van and then hoisted Islamic flags on them. We now move freely with them.” Sekau boasted in a video believed to have been released by him in Maiduguri on Wednesday. He debunked earlier claims by the Nigerian military that he died from gunshot wounds on August 19, 2013.

Forbes list of the 2013 World's Highest-Paid Hip-Hop Artists

Diddy tops this year’s Forbes list of hip-hop’s top earners, pulling in $50m over the past 12 months - June 2012 - 2013. See the top 20 highest paid hip-hop artists below... 1.Diddy - $50million 2. Jay Z - $43million 3. Dr Dre - $40million

Apo building where squatters were killed belongs to Obasanjo's sister

The unfinished building in Apo town of Abuja where men of the SSS killed at least seven squatters on Friday September 20, belongs to Mrs. Adunni Oluwole Salisu, believed to be the sister to former President Olusegun Obasanjo, according to Pemium Times. Documents from the Abuja Geographical Information Systems (AGIS) shows that the property, located at No. 8 Bamanga Tukur Street, Gudu District, near the Gudu cemetery, belongs to Mrs. Salisu.

Checkout Nadia Buari's birthday message to her boyfriend, Jim Iyke

Happy 37th birthday to James Ikechukwu Esomugha aka Jim Iyke. We wish you all the best.

Video: In the closet: '5 signs that guy is GAY’ - Toke Makinwa reveals

OAP Toke Makinwa, is out again with another episode of her vlog series ‘Toke moments’ titled “In the Closet; 5 signs that guy is Gay”. In this episode, Makinwa bared it all explaining step by step the signs that indicates the ‘potential boyfriend, fiancé, husband’ may be in the closet. Watch the video and see if you agree with her opinion.

"My fresh hot legs, my boobs but mostly my face are my selling point" - Vanilla

Exclusive video footage on the Westgate mall terror attack in Kenya

This video was taken by an eye witness who was later rescued by the police. http://ireporterstv.co/exclusive-video-footage-on-the-westgate-attack-by-eye-witness/

Video: Couple caught on tape having séx in a moving car

This is really crazy, mehn. Do they have to do it while the car is moving? Watch...(18+ only)

click here to see the video

"Don't play with me" Teyana Taylor warns Rihanna

Are Rihanna and Teyana Taylor industry friends-turned-foes? It was all good just a few years ago. Earlier today, Rihanna allegedly threw some indirect shade Teyana’s way after she posted a video of her hairdresser Yusef, dressed in a wig and snapback, singing Anita Baker’s “Caught Up In The Rapture.”

Pastor disguised as destitute to his church and members refused to help him

Why do people call themselves christians when others can't see the person of Christ in them? Below is what happened to this pastor who disguised as a destitute to his church, I hope all who read this will learn one or two lessons from it:

"Shameless and corrupt" - Nuhu Ribadu replies ex-IGP Okiro

Former EFCC chairman Mallam Nuhu Ribadu has responded to former Inspector General of Police Mike Okiro who said yesterday that Ribadu lied when he claimed that he (Okiro) was behind two assassination attempt on his life and not Ibori. Okiro said in a statement released yesterday that Ribadu is an inveterate liar and desperately wanted to be IG. Ribadu has responded to Okiro, calling him corrupt and a shameless liar. See his press statement below...

2face presents N3m to Peace Award winners

Three winners emerged from the 2Face Peace Awards which held on Saturday, Sept. 21 2013 (World Peace Day) at the Nicon Luxury Hotel Abuja. They received N1 million each to use in furthering the various peace causes they have been involved in.

Chris Brown disses Wendy Williams

Last week Jet Magazine released a quote from Chris Brown's interview where Chris questioned why Jay Z gets a pass for stabbing someone and selling drugs but he doesn't get any for beating Rihanna. Talk show host Wendy Williams has slammed Chris for trying to shift the blame for his troubles. On the Hot Topics segment of her show, Wendy went in telling Chris, "You were less than smart in trying to blame Jay Z. You need to blame yourself young man. You are a woman-beater, you’re disrespectful, you threw a chair out of the window at Good Morning America. You look like a junkie. Now that’s what I’m going to say. You got those nasty tattoos. You’re way too skinny. You don’t seem to have respect for much at all. You beat the stew out of Rihanna.” And Chris replied...

Meet the woman who led the terrorist attack in Westgate mall in Kenya

Samantha Lawthwaite is the wife of the late Jermaine Lindsay, a terrorist who was one of the four people that killed 52 people in a series of well co-ordinated suicide attacks in parts of London, using the public transport system during the morning rush hour in 2005.

LAGBUS crushes soldier to death(graphic photo)

This horrible accident happened yesterday Monday Sept. 23rd along the Alaka/Costain crossover bridge in Surulere. The driver of one of the buses in the state mass transit scheme lost control of his bus and crashed into a soldier riding a motorcyle on the express. The yet-to-be identified soldier was cut almost into two by the bus. According to a source who witnessed the accident, the driver was on top speed when he lost control of the vehicle as he approached a bad spot on the dilapidated bridge. The driver, while trying to avoid the bad spot, swerved to the left pinning the soldier on the railing of the bridge. The bus dragged the soldier for a bit and cut through his bowel. Eyewitnesses said the soldier, who died on the spot, was carrying a woman on the back seat of the motorcycle, and was flung away from the impact of the collision. She survived the crash but is in a critical condition in the hospital. The driver of the bus fled the scene after seeing the extent of the damage and so did the passengers of the bus a few minutes later, fearing attack from soldiers. See the photo after the cut...(Very graphic content, be warned)

Miley Cyrus goes nude on the cover of Rolling Stone mag

Miley Cyrus poses naked on the cover of the October issue of Rolling Stone magazine. Fans are still amazed at what the former Disney child-star is turning into. Do you think her present life style suits her?

Tolu Odukoya with hubby welcomes baby girl

The first daughter of late pastor Bimbo Odukoya of Fountain of Life, Tolu Odukoya Ijogun who got married to hubby Olumide Ijogun on the 3rd of November, 2012 just recently welcomed a baby girl in the US. We say congrats to the couple!

Ps.
We sincerely apologise for going MIA for a few days now, this is as a result of technical issues we've been facing but we can assure you that efforts are being made to rectify this asap. Please bear with us.
We would also like to formally thank everyone who have been reaching us via emails and phone calls to this reason. You guys are wonderful. God bless you all.

Is Ini Edo pregnant?

Some reports based on the photo above that Ini Edo's hubby, Phillip shared from their vacation together said the actress was pregnant because the photo supposedly shows a baby bump. But, according to close sources, Ini Edo isn't expecting! Well, only time will tell. #armscrossed

'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' host Frank Edoho replies Ebuka Obi-Uchendu

First, Ebuka tweeted the above...and oh my God! Frank took the diss personal. Well, wouldn't you if you were in his shoes? See his reply after the cut...

Winner of last week's airtime!

We say a big thank you to all our esteemed readers, especially those who read and posted comments on posts and those who participated in our on-going reward programme. Below is the number of comments posted by participants last week( starting from the highest):


1. Tunde Lukman: 93
2. Lekan Adewumi: 61
3. Betty Annie: 58
4. Helen John: 7


We congratulate Tunde Lukman for topping the list and winning an airtime of his choice of network, we urge him to please check his mail and reply the message sent to him by our team. We also want to use this opportunity to implore others to top up their games. *winks*
To participate, simply read our stories and post a comment with your email attached. That's all. You can be a proud winner every week.
God bless you all!

The BeyondMerit Team

Photo: 400 level student excretes 25 wraps of cocaine at Akanu Ibiam Airport

Culled from Vanguard...

National Drug Law Enforcement Agency of Nigeria (NDLEA) Thursday arrested a 400 level student at the newly upgraded Akanu Ibiam International Airport Enugu.

The suspect, Chizoba Anselem Nwabuwa, 32 year-old Fine and Applied Arts student at the Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka, Anambra State was apprehended during the inward screening of passengers on an Ethiopian flight from Brazil enroute Addis-Ababa.

According to the head of the NDLEA at the Enugu Airport, Mr. Nsikak-Abasi Udoh who confirmed the arrest the suspect excreted 25 wraps of liquid that tested positive for cocaine.

Photos from actress Uchenna's sister's wedding

Nollywood actress Uchenna's younger sister, Chikodi Nnanna got married to her boo, Paul Francios Wildenberg who hails from Netherlands last month in Ikoyi. Friends and family attended the wedding in support of the couple. Wish them all the best! More pics after the cut...

Nuhu Ribadu replies Farida Waziri over Obasanjo's criticism

Former chairman of the EFCC, Mallam Nuhu Ribadu took to Twitter to reply his successor, Mrs Farida Waziri over her reaction to Chief Olusegun Obasanjo's criticism of her tenure as chairperson of the Commission.

Ribadu described Farida as a cheap liar, saying he actually lectured her. More tweets below:

Video: Lawer and activist Mike Ezekhome narrates his ordeal with his abductors.

Mike Ozekhome was kidnapped on the 24th of August by unknown gunmen after they killed his police guards. He was released yesterday after so many pleas from the Government, his colleagues and associates. He reunited with his family there after and narrated his ordeal. Watch...

Lady Gaga says she's bisexual

You are surprised, right? I am too. Lol! She revealed it yesterday on “Watch What Happens Live” that she's had sex with women in the past. Lady Gaga said:

    “Well, I’ve taken a few dips in the lady pond. I like girls… I know people think I just say things to be shocking, but I actually do like p**sy. It just depends on whose p**sy it is.”

Gaga also revealed the craziest place she’s had sex, talked about using the drug Molly and revealed her favorite “Real Housewives” stars during in the sit-down. Check the video after the cut...

Photos & video: Behind the scenes from Sean Tizzle's 'Mama Eh'

Recently, Difference Ent signee, Sean Tizzle teamed up with super talented Clarence Peters to achieve a video for his latest smash hit single "Mama Eh", which is currently rocking music lover's playlists. The video showcases adventurous scenes with a creative edge. Here's behind the scenes footage from the shoot; a glimpse of what to expect in the movie like video. More pics after the cut..

Nigerian ‘Yahoo Boys’ exposed

This is really interesting. A Us security website has released a video showing Facebook profiles of some Nigerian scammers and the boys are yet to know. Lol. Krebsonsecurity.com, published links to the real Facebook profiles of Nigerians allegedly involved in 'Yahoo' business....and if you check their profiles, the guys are balling, pictures taken with jewelries, exotic cars etc...from Nigeria to Turkey to Malaysia! But the funniest part of all this is that these boys don't even know that their names have been exposed. See the report from Krebs on Security below...

A crude but effective online service that lets users deploy keystroke logging malware and then view the stolen data remotely was hacked recently. The information leaked from that service has revealed a network of several thousand Nigerian email scammers and offers a fascinating glimpse into an entire underground economy that is seldom explored.

The site was so poorly locked down that it also exposed the keylog records that customers kept on the service. Logs were indexed and archived each month, and most customers used the service to keep tabs on multiple computers in several countries. A closer look at the logs revealed that a huge number of the users appear to be Nigerian 419 scammers using computers with Internet addresses in Nigeria.

It's a pretty long write up, so read it after the cut. The video showing the alleged 'Yahoo Boys' is also after the cut....

Photos: Dayo Adeneye aka D1 in paternity scandal

There`s definitely a top secret popular broadcaster, Dayo Adeneye a.k.a D1 would not want anybody to know if he has his way but unfortunately the beans has been spilled. The business partner of the famous Kenny Ogungbe of PrimeTime Entertainment fame is sure having sleepless night over his amorous affair with a lady who`s based in the UK.

According to sources, Dayo Adeneye must have bitten more than he can chew as his unguarded extra marital affairs has started to hunt him as plans to get rid of the pregnancy which his UK mistress had for him was abortive leaving D1 at crossroads.

Farida Waziri fires back at Obasanjo, threatens to expose his secrets

Former Chairman of the EFCC, Farida Waziri on Wednesday described the claim by ex-President Olusegun Obasanjo that she was recommended for the EFCC job by convicted former Delta State Governor, James Ibori as a "blatant falsehood".

On her words...

“I will like to warn that those who live in glass houses don’t throw stones and as such Obasanjo should not allow me open up on him. Respectable elder statesmen act and speak with decorum”.
Expressing shock that a man who was twice a Nigerian leader would “descend so low to peddle falsehood,” Waziri warned Obasanjo to respect his age or else she would “open up on him.”

Yvonne Nelson looking stunning in belly baring top

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